Realizations |
Recognition |
Before the interviews, I had never really thought about what it would be like if my grandmother hadn't done so much for my grandfather. Her being so helpful and understanding was just how it always was in my perspective. Recently I met a couple similar to my grandmother, in which the husband has dementia. This couple, lets call them Sally and Joe, has a different dynamic. Joe is frustrated that his mind is failing, and Sally doesn't help him hide his mistakes. When Joe publicly fails to recall a word or a name he gets frustrated. Sally gets mad that Joe is a grump all the time and everyone is unhappy. My grandmother devoted countless hours to taking care of my grandfather. She made it seem like he wasn't forgetting things when she could and as a result made it so much easier for him to face the unfortunate fact that he had Alzheimer's. She did everything she could to keep their lives seeming normal and that really helped my grandfather. She knew some things embarrassed him so she made them seem like no big deal to him and tried to involve as few people as possible. She was so wonderful and genuinely helpful. obviously that was hard on her and every couple is different but I think she really embraced being a caregiver rather than accepting what she had to do. I am not insinuating it was easy or always enjoyable, but it was pretty amazing.
That said, I wish (and always have wished) she didn't have to work so hard because I can tell you that it was exhausting. She never seemed a day over 30 but taking care of my grandfather really took a toll on my grandmother. Obviously loosing your husband of 50+ years would change a person and no-one would not seem a little older after caring for their ailing husband for fourteen years (Yes, my grandfather did live for fourteen more years after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's). I hope my grandmother knows how much she inspired me by just being so caring. In some ways, I think I didn't realize that she could be less helpful because in her mind that wasn't a possibility. |
Caregivers and Hospice workers do very difficult jobs! It's hard to imagine caring for another person in the way they do for as many days as they do. There isn't always someone around to give a person a break, and there are no government mandated holidays, breaks, or benefits. The facts listed about Alzheimer's caregivers are just a glimpse into what people do for others and the effects of that care. Next time you see someone dedicating their life to the care of others think about these facts. If you feel inspired to give back try volunteering, offer to help a friend or neighboor facing Alzheimer's or some other disease, send love their way, or donate to an organization of you choice (Fun fact: the best thing to do for your happiness is to help others). So, thank you Mimi and countless others who help victims of Alzheimer's disease through life.
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